As a mom we often feel we can handle everything. From cooking, cleaning, washing clothes, working, after school activities, homework, baths, etc. We spend 95% of our day providing for our children until we can’t anymore. We feel that asking for help makes us less of a parent. We want people to believe that we have it all together. Before I became a mom of twins I never asked for help. I was a single mother until my son was four years old. I went to work and school full time while being a full time mom. I lived with my parents and they helped me a lot as far as keeping my son while I worked and went to school. If I happened to not have it I knew that I could depend of them. However, I always made sure we had everything we needed because I knew it was my responsibility as my sons mother. When I found out that I was having twins I realized that I was going to need a lot of help and support. My boyfriend was becoming a first time dad so I knew that us together just wasn’t going to be enough. I also hadn’t had a newborn in 7 years and the thought of having two of them scared me. I had to put my pride to the side and allow myself to accept help.
Sometimes we need those breaks. A time for us to relax and clear our minds. I know it can be hard to ask for help in fear of rejection or negative thoughts. If someone offers to watch the kids, let them. When family and friends come over, ask them to keep an eye on the kids while you take a small nap or clean up. Utilize your resources. Take people up on their offers. If they ask if you need help, say it. People only know what you tell them. If you don’t have the help look for local support groups, other moms.
Being a mom you are automatically connected to other moms. We all have one thing in common, children. We all know the struggles of needing help. We all get tired and weak. We are moms but even mom needs a break too.
Challenge yourself to step out and ask for help today even if it’s something small. You’ll be surprised at the number of people waiting in line to help you.
"We cannot nurture others from a dry well."
Being a mom of boys we don’t always have the time to look our best. We slip on the first thing we find before the boy(s) get up because we know once they are up they’re ready for the day. Unlike girls, boys don’t care about what they have on or if their hair is looking good. Little girls enjoy watching their mommies put on make up, get dressed, and do her hair. Boys on the other hand they want you to chase them around the house to get the dressed, play cars on top of your head, wrestle, have fart contest. We spend most of our time cleaning up messes, making dinner, running to sports practices, helping with homework, all the things that need to be done to keep our households in order. Every now and then we need to take some time out for us. Go to that nail shop, call up your beautician, go get that wax.. Do whatever it is that makes you happy. Self care is very important. If we are not at our best, how can we properly care for our children? We aren’t neglecting our babies and our sons will still love us even if we take some time for us. Trust me, they’ll appreciate it.
Here are five self care ideas for the month of August:
How often do you do all the things you do for others for yourself? How often do sit down and think of the things that you value? What do you value? These are question I ask myself often. Being a mom is tough. It’s mentally and physically draining. However being a mom should not stop you from focusing on yourself and your goals. It’s your motivation. Don’t let yourself get so caught up in your children that you forget about your own self.
Connect with those values. Create boundaries. Give yourself grace and forgiveness. Reconnect. Take control. Step into who you are feeling honored, valued, respected, and loved. Make yourself a priority. Dive into your thoughts. Take a step back to gain control over your life. Spend time with yourself. God put us on this earth for a reason. Find your purpose. Don’t make anymore excuses.
Today, I challenge you to look at yourself in the mirror and ask yourself are you happy with where you are? Where in your life can you make improvements? How can you gain control back over your life. Today is a day of reflection 💕
Inspired by: Allison Tibbs (Sanity&Self App)
Being a mother isn’t easy. It’s a never ending job. I like to say I have two jobs, my career and my children. I take pride in being a mother. It’s one of my greatest accomplishment. I became a mother at the age of 17. I was terrified but refused to fail. I felt I had so many people to prove wrong and now I look back at that time and realize the only person I needed to prove something to was myself. I made sure to finish my senior year of high school and go to college the following fall. I was a single mother striving to succeed. It was not easy but I had unlimited support from family and friends. I went to school and work full time while being a full time mom. There were many days I wanted to give up and times where I took a break from school. I didn’t let those times stop me from accomplishing my main goal. Almost 8 years later I am now a mom of three boys who keep me on my toes. My oldest son Ayden will be entering the second grade come August 15. I am very proud of the little man he is becoming. He is super smart and loving. He enjoys playing his Xbox, swimming, riding bikes, and playing outside. He is a fast learner and catches on really quick. On May 16th of this year I became a mom of fraternal twin boys Alexander and Ashton. They are such sweet babies. The enjoy spending time with mommy and daddy, tummy time, eating, and sleeping. They are completely different. I’m excited to see them grow and interact with each other. My children are my motivation. The reason I wake up in the morning with joy in my heart.
As mothers we never want to see our children grow but we know that’s the way life works. Our children are the lights of our lives. They are apart of our legacy that we will leave behind. Mold them into the people they need to be. They depend on us to show them the path to success. I encourage all my mothers out there to take some time to reflect on life with your children. Take the day to show them how much we care. Spend time with them We get so caught up in physically caring them that sometimes a little time with them is all they need. Remember.. They don’t stay babies forever ❤️